The word friendship gets thrown around more than a tennis ball at Wimbledon. Perhaps more often than it probably should.
Society seems to have this negative stigma around the topic of friendships, making us think we dont ‘need‘ friends, and that it’s best to ‘keep the circle small.’ Or perhaps it isn’t society maybe it’s us and our own experiences. Whatever the case may be, i can’t say i necessarily believe that’s a healthy way of thinking, because the truth is… We do infact ‘need‘ friends, we need to spread ourselves to find others who we want to be apart of our lives. So why limit ourselves to the people we are surrounded by day by day, week by week, year by year? If that person lives in Japan and you live in Jamaica well so be it that’s still a friend, right?
I can’t say i have been on the earth long enough to have experienced everything i need to know about friendships. But after 23 years, i’ve gained friendships, lost friendships, and gained some again, it can be quite a vicious circle. I have been thinking a lot lately about, who really are my ‘friends?’ And i don’t mean those i just see at social gatherings, religious meetings, or who i bump into on the street. I mean those who i actually interact with regulary, perhaps for no reason at all. Those that i can say “i need you” at any time and they are there without question.
My definition of a friend would be someone who has the same morals me, loves me for me, but who is honest when I’ve messed up, because lets face it, i mess up ALOT. Also someone who is supportive, who brings out the best in me, and ultimately is there in time of need. A friendship isn’t questionable because love is involved and love is a certainty without doubt. Despite this, i find people get mixed up with the word ‘friend’ with ‘acquaintance’… To me an acquaintance is someone who i see perhaps every now and then. Those that don’t necessarily make an effort with me and i don’t make an effort with them, no animosity just life, and it’s not a negative thing! Although, where it may become hurtful is thinking we’re friends with someone only to take a step back and realise the effort isn’t reciprocated. I would say once you step back, stay back but be at peace with that. Unless they start making an effort of course!
I would consider myself a socialable person, i like people, well sometimes! And i genuinely like making new friends and reconnecting with old. I find its therapeutic, even educational to be around people that are different to me, who look different or sound different. Yeah sure i may never see that person again or be best friends with them, but i guess you can’t be with everyone. I’ll give an example of someone i met at this party, for the sake of his privacy i’ll call him Burt lol, he was from Germany. To cut the long story short we got chatting, he invited me and some friends over for a holiday, said he’ll sort out accomendation so all we needed to do was sort the flight and go. So guess what we did? We went over of course! Bare in mind we met him in April’ish and went over in June, in between we kept in regular contact. But after the holiday, every day talking turned into the occasional “hey, how are you“, which eventually turned into absolutely nothing, perhaps because i changed my number i dont know. But it’s strange how you can get to know someone, spend a week with them only to end up not talking at all. I don’t find it sad just weird. I will say i am glad for the experience, even if i didn’t get a lasting friendship out of it. Who knows maybe I’ll see Burt around again.
To conclude, i can genuinely say i am happy with my choices of friends. I guess it just takes a bit longer to figure out who they are!
Well thankyou for making it to the end of my article.